Love Jealous One, Love.

I really... REALLY hate reading old myspace comments and messages. It honestly makes me feel like shit. I have had soo many friends in my life... What the FUCK happened to them all? Some ended, I was responsible for more than id like to admit... But when I really think about it... I miss them.

I miss the way I used to stay up late and talk to Carrera on the phone, I miss the way Rachel and I would watch movies, I missed watching episode after episode of The Office with Sara, I miss the way Hannah and me planned out our dream house for the day we would inevitably get hitched, the way me and Gabe would jam, I miss going to Jasons house and messing around, I miss Jordan having to drive me everywhere, I miss the long nights I used to have with Nicole and Alex... I miss the days on end that I would spend with Mandy and Nicole... Sometimes that is the one I missed most...

If I could go back and time and fix all of these friendships, find out where they went wrong and prevent it, I would. But I can't play god... I also don't think any of them Would want me back anyways. What do I do when I get these nostalgic happy memories and realize that they are so out of reach that thinking about them is pointless. I have a lot of problems, I just want to find someone who wants to keep me around...